I Wonder

Where did this all come from you ask. Why do you feel this way you ponder. Well I am about to breakit down for you. Before I do though, think, feel. What does this poem say to you? Are these words relatable?

I feel like the blacksheep in my family. Honestly, I don’t get it. I am empathetic, loyal, have great morals. Why am I always singled out. My family likes to have get togethers, the ones near my age atleast. My older sister, and my cousins. Barely am I given an invite.

Is it because I have anxiety issues? Am I an embarrassment, or boring, or nothing to you at all?

I often think of these things. I ponder on and on. My mom and I are close. My aunt and I get along well. The rest of them though. I always feel so shunned out. When I strike up conversation I am often ignored, or my ideas are turned down.

I try to not let it bother me. I try to remind myself that I don’t need them, or anyone who doesn’t show me I matter. I have my bf, our son. I have my mom, friends that care. Still, it bothers me.

I want to feel like I am special sometimes too. I don’t want to overhear people talking about me behind my back when they think I can’t hear.

Is that really too much to ask for?